


to be alone

by hhwgv



Series: Teen Wolf Femslash Bingo [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 15:36:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7851007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhwgv/pseuds/hhwgv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison still thinks of Lydia sometimes. She remembers how Lydia looked in the early-morning sun, when the golden light shone through the delicate lace curtains, throwing shadows across the pale skin of her back. She remembers Lydia’s perfectly manicured nails tapping against textbooks or counters when she was thinking or doing homework. And even though it’s been more than two years, anything that smells like strawberries and vanilla still reminds Allison of her. Lydia. The person who broke her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to be alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Olsies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olsies/gifts).



> [Ollie](http://greyaroacesamwinchester.tumblr.com/) asked for an Allydia fic inspired by Jet Pack Blues by FOB a long time ago and I've finally written it!! I'm also using it to fill the square _"An Argument_ on my Teen Wolf femslash bingo card.
> 
> Title is obviously from the song.

Allison still thinks of Lydia sometimes. She remembers how Lydia looked in the early-morning sun, when the golden light shone through the delicate lace curtains, throwing shadows across the pale skin of her back. She remembers Lydia’s perfectly manicured nails tapping against textbooks or counters when she was thinking or doing homework. And even though it’s been more than two years, anything that smells like strawberries and vanilla still reminds Allison of her. Lydia. The person who broke her heart.

She knows that isn’t really a fair statement – after all, Allison had been the one who walked away.

Lydia was great. She was smart and beautiful and she made Allison feel like she was the center of the universe. And at first their relationship was great – passionate, fulfilling, easy – but after six months it felt… different. They fought more and more and it didn’t take long before Allison felt like Lydia wasn’t as invested in their relationship as she was.

The more Allison thought about it, the more she started to wonder if she was nothing more than a rebound, if Lydia had only gone out with her to get over her ex, Jackson, who dumped her in a two-word text before moving to a different country. She couldn’t stand thinking like that, it hurt too much.

She didn’t want to mention her suspicions to Lydia, though, because it could ruin their relationship if they were wrong.

It came out anyway.

It was in the middle of their biggest fight. Allison’s heart was pounding in her chest and her hands were balled into fists. “Was I just a rebound?” she asked, lowering her voice.

“What?” was Lydia’s response.

“Did you date me because you actually had romantic feelings for me?” Allison rephrased her question, looking up to meet Lydia’s gaze. “Or did you only date me because you didn’t want to be alone?”

Lydia looked away and her voice was small when she answered, “Allison, I… I don’t know.”

Allison felt a lump forming in her throat and she swallowed it before she nodded. “Okay,” she said. “Well, I’m happy that I could make being dumped a little easier on you.” Her voice was thick with sarcasm.

Lydia called after her, but Allison just kept walking as silent tears slid down her cheeks.

The break up still hurts. Whenever she has a spare moment, Allison’s mind drifts back to Lydia. She wonders what would have happened if she’d stayed, if they would have been able to work through their relationship or if the break up was inevitable. Lydia calls sometimes, but Allison never picks up – how could she? – and she always leaves messages that Allison listens to without replying.

This time when Lydia calls, Allison picks up. There’s a moment of silence, when no one’s saying anything, and Allison takes a deep breath before speaking. “Hello?”

“Allison?” Lydia’s voice is tinny and static-y, but she sounds the same.

Allison nods and when she realizes that they’re talking on the phone and Lydia can’t actually see her, her voice almost breaks when she says, “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh my God,” Lydia breathes. “I didn’t think you’d answer, I…” her voice trails off and there’s another moment of silence on the line.

“I’m sorry,” Allison says, “for ending things the way you did.”

“No,” Lydia replies. “I understand. It’s my fault.”

“It isn’t,” Allison interjects.

“Yeah, it is,” Lydia insists. “I know that. I didn’t realize how much I loved you until you were gone. I took you for granted and I’m sorry.”

Allison doesn’t say anything for a moment, she doesn’t know if there’s anything she can say. “Sometimes I wish that we could try again,” she murmurs into the phone.

“Why can’t we?” Lydia asks. “You could come back to Beacon Hills, we could start over. Kira told me that you miss it here.”

“I don’t know,” Allison says. There’s a part of her that wants to go back, to give in to her curiosity about what could have been.

“Just think about it,” Lydia tells her. “I miss you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I'm unable to write happy Allydia... oh well, I like to think they got back together after this fic. Who knows.
> 
> Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed and feel free to send me a prompt (or just talk to me) on [tumblr](http://nbjace.tumblr.com/)!!


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